Tonight Noel and I mourn the loss of his beloved mother. It was a sudden devastating loss -- and we were both caught off guard. I was supposed to come in for work tonight for a few hours but I could not leave my darling husband at home with so much grief and sadness in his heart. I try to be the brain of the family during this hard time but I cannot mask my heartbreak -- I loved my mother-in-law so much!
Coping with our grief is a daunting task. Because I've lost my mother when I was fourteen, I know how much pain he is feeling -- a sad blessing for us. Over the years, in studying Psychology, taking care of sick patients as a nurse and now as a nursing leader, I have experienced, dealt, handled death in so many ways. I have learned a few things in my vast experience and I would like to share with you some coping mechanisms we are practicing now so we don't spiral down into deep depression:

1. Its really okay to laugh and to cry -- when hubby feels like he has to cry -- I encourage him! Keeping emotions inside will do more damage to the mind and body than crying it out. When we learned the news, both of us cried in each other's arms like two year olds. It made us relax afterwards. I also encourage us to laugh at funny jokes or stories that we come across online. Hubby remembered he had a really funny video of mom when he surprised her with a visit -- we both laughed our head off and felt so good afterwards! I know it sounds bipolar -- but laughing and crying actually made us feel better tonight.

2. Take baby steps -- we are both overwhelmed with even the smallest decisions -- it feels like things are running in slow motion, disorganized chaos! I made both of us focus on one task tonight -- preparing and cooking for our lunch tomorrow. We used the easiest form of cooking -- the Slow Cooker! After 8 hours, a delicious, aromatic stew will be ready for our lunch. Tomorrow, Noel and I will cry and laugh in each other's arms -- then clean the kitchen...(-;

3. Don't be afraid to ask for help -- I advised my hubby to seek grief counseling when we both notice the start of deep depression. In fact, this also applies to me since I am very much involved in this. So, yes, we will both seek grief counseling when the time comes.

4. Don't be afraid to reach out to family and friends -- this is the time when we know who our real friends are -- they will lovingly reach out to offer kind words and their support -- and they have!! Thank you friends and family -- we love you!

5. Don't forget to nourish the body -- keep hydrated and nourished! I offer my hubby water and food every two hours to make sure he is not getting dehydrated -- nourishing the body helps calm the mind and the heart.

6. Asking for help from the Higher Power -- Hubby and I prayed hard tonight -- not to change the course of reality -- but to help us accept the devastating loss and give us peace of mind.

7. Don't forget to groom yourself -- during this difficult time, it is easy to forget to take care of ourselves physically. We promised each other that we would take a shower before going to bed -- this will help us sleep better.

8. Express yourself -- I am guilty of keeping thoughts and emotions to myself. I have to constantly remind myself to let out my grief and pain because my body and mind just can't handle the weight of it. That is why I am writing in my journal.

So far, these are tips we are currently practicing -- I am sure we will discover some new and wonderful ways to deal with our pain.

To my dear mother-in-law, Rochelle, we love you and we miss you!!!

Hubby and I were lucky enough to be invited to a High Tea by our good friend Cedric.  This beautiful event was organized by the Diablo Valley Chinese Cultural Association and held at the Lafayette Library today from 2:30 - 5 pm.  The ladies were gorgeous with their Tea hats and dresses, the men were pretty casual but hubby and Cedric looked dashing in their sports coats and ties.  All the tea sandwiches and desserts were homemade by volunteers-- they were absolutely delicious!  Here are some pictures of the event:






Our very cute Centerpiece!  Luv the Rice Krispies Teddy Bears and flowers.  Hubby actually won these 2 bears but we ended up giving 1 bear away....(-;






The Tea Sandwiches and scones were so delicious!  Hubby and I were so excited to eat all of them!  They went well with our Earl Grey tea.  Cedric kept eating the Gummi Bears....(-;






My plate....I wanted to stuff myself silly with all the food but kept my composure and did not fill my plate at once.  The Lemon Curd was divine!






Each table got two of these wonderful dessert trays!!  Absolutely yummy! (-;






Cedric posing with other past presidents of the organization.  He served for 4 years!  Great job Ced! (-;






We kept winning prizes! (-;






Us three posing after the event.  Ced and I go way back -- we met in college more than 20 years ago.  As you can tell, we are really good friends!


Hubby and I had so much fun eating the delicious food and meeting new people.  The library was beautiful and provided a nice setting for High Tea!  Thank you Ced for thinking about us and inviting us to this lovely event.  We are looking forward to next year's High Tea!

I finally got my DeLonghi juicer today and boy was I excited to make my first batch of yummy and nutritious juice!  I decided to combine carrots, apple, celery and ginger for my first juice.



I have heard alot of good things about juicing like packing your body with nutrients and losing weight the natural way.  I started working out at the gym again so juicing before and after my workout instead of eating rice and meat is my plan to help me shed some pounds. 
I was so surprised that these fruits and veggies actually produced alot of juice!  The ginger really added a kick to the taste and I heard it is good for digestion.  I know that homemade juice is much better than store bought juice since it does not have any artificial sugar or preservatives.



I chased down my dinner with this tall glass of fruit and veggie juice!  Now I am just waiting for half and hour so I can go back to the gym and workout!

All this talk about the national debt made me look into our very own problem child.  I know it won't be easy to obliterate our debt but I am sure going to try my hardest. Here are my debt-slashing tips:

1.   Save money by bringing food to work -- I spend about $7-12 dollars for my dinner at the cafeteria....yikes!  If I bring food to work, I will save a maximum of $60/week or $240/month!  This money can go towards our debt...(-;

2.  I am committing to adding $500/month in debt payment -- so where is this money coming from?  I actually have automatic money deduction every 2 weeks from my paycheck going to my Credit union account for my recreation expenses.  I can use this extra cash to speed up my debt payment! (-;

3.  Continue to use my Debit card as my Credit card -- I stopped using my credit card a while back so I pay for stuff in cash through my Debit card.  It controls my spending since I continuously think that I can easily wipe out my Checking account if I am not careful.

4.  Planning where to eat on the weekends -- Hubby and I usually eat out on the weekends so it is important to choose the least expensive place (but still enjoyable) to dine in.  We have our favorite Chinese, Vietnamese and American places to eat in and they roughly cost about $30 - 40 max for both of us.  We spend about twice as much when we eat at some of our favorite places so consciously picking the cheaper places will be good for our budget.

5. Not paying for shipping for our packages -- When I go shopping, I will make every effort not to choose second day or next day delivery -- I will also remain faithful to online shopping sites that provide free shipping like Amazon, Zappos ( I recently became a VIP so I will get next day shipping free!)

With these tips, I am sure I can reduce our debt in no time! 

Do you have other money saving, debt-slashing tips you'd like to share?  Please leave a comment! (-;

I got my steamer today and I am so excited to share with you a recipe I came up with today -- My Steamed Lemony Garlic Chicken with Veggies!!  I am craving for something fresh and lemony so I thought it would be a great idea to combine the following ingredients:

Lemony Garlic Chicken:

Chicken
Olive oil
Lemon juice
Crushed garlic
salt and pepper

Mix the olive oil, lemon juice, crushed garlic and salt/pepper in a small bowl and pour over the chicken.  Mix well and place in 1 steamer bowl.

Lemony Garlic Veggies:

String beans
Baby Bok Choy
Potatoes
Carrots
Onions

Use the same Lemon garlic marinade for the veggies and place in steamer bowls.  I placed the Potatoes and carrots together in 1 bowl.



Stack all the Steamer bowls with the chicken on the very bottom, the potatoes and carrots next then the string beans and bok choy last.
Steam for 30 minutes at a time to make sure that the water on the bottom tier doesn't dry out.  The chicken and the potatoes will be ready in about an hour so remove the string beans and bok choy after 30 minutes.


Optional gravy:

You can enhance the dish by pouring gravy on top of the chicken and veggies -- it is absolutely yummy!!  After the chicken and veggies get steamed, pour their juices from the steamer bowls onto a small pot and add some flour to thicken the sauce.  Season with salt and pepper.  Bring the sauce to a boil and when it gets thick, it is done.
Here is my yummy creation -- without the gravy.  Hubby liked it so much he wants me to cook it again for dinner! (-;



You can also mix and match other veggies.  I stopped by the grocery today and bought Broccolini to add to the dish tonight.
Hope you enjoy this dish as much as we do! (-;

I luv my friends very much.  I am surrounded by special people who have been in my life for a very long time.  They have been with me through thick and thin and seen the worst and the best of me.  I also luv the ones that I have just met or have reconnected with after so many years. I consider all friends gems in my life - people who I value and consider priceless.  So how do I treat my precious friends -- with love!  When friends come over to stay overnight or for the weekend or longer, I want to give them a 5 star treatment!  This is how my 5 star treatment looks like:


1.  A nice room -- I will have my friend/s stay in a spacious room so they can stretch, relax and unwind.
2  A comfy bed and beddings -- Nice cotton sheets, soft pillows and my own secret for a soft bed - Feather down comforter -- it is warm during winter and cool during summer -- a tip I learned from a magazine many years ago.  It will definitely enhance any bed and make my friend feel like she/he is in a hotel.
3. A spa kit -- I will lovingly make a relaxation kit filled with soothing items such as lotion, Air freshener, facial mist, soft teddy bear, some boxes of herbal tea, small massager, some spa music.  I will make sure to leave some bottled water and fresh fruit for refreshment as well as hot water for tea/coffee at night or in the morning.
4. Books and magazines for entertainment.
5.  I'd like to get a small television or a radio for entertainment.



Pictured above is the Relaxation kit for my special guest/s.

My friends mean the world to me so I want to make them as comfortable as possible when they come and visit.  I would like them to know that they are VIPs in my book and deserve to be treated royally!

Work can really be stressful at times and the effects of stress go beyond work hours and into the rest of the night.  I get home exhausted but at the same time uptight from thinking about things I should leave behind at work.  So how to I de-stress and get ready for bed?  Here are some tips I learned over the years to get a good night sleep:

1.  Take a warm shower -- the warmth of the water really does wonders for me -- the sound of running water, warm water on my skin -- all soothing!

2.  Listen to soft, gentle music while taking a shower -- I listen to some spa music while I bathe in the warm water -- transports me to a peaceful place.

3.  Combining massage with my beauty routine -- I do facial and body massage when I use my oils and moisturizers -- my muscles really luv it!

4.  Using Aromatherapy in my bedroom -- I use lavender oil combined with water when I use our Airoma Air purifier/freshener -- my brain automatically thinks it is going to bed when I smell wonderful lavender.

5.  Wearing socks to bed -- keeps my feet warm since they get so cold easily

6.  Talking to Hubby -- I now have the luxury of talking to my partner at night since his work schedule changed.  Talking to him allows me to vent and get good advice.

7.  Talking to the Higher Power -- my faith in God allows me to leave my cares behind and to trust that things will get better.  And even if they don't get better -- I know that I have a powerful friend who will always be with me as I go through the daily grind. 

Going through this pre-sleep routine really helps me prepare for much needed sleep so I can face the world again the next day.

Ever heard that song "Breaking up is hard to do"?  Well I am singing this and saying goodbye to alot of my beauty products!  Its a bittersweet experience, really.  I've been using them for a while now and have been happy but I have to really think about what is good for my body.  So off I went to Whole Foods Market today to buy these products.  They are all safe and non toxic -- these companies signed an agreement to provide safe cosmetics thats why I chose them.  Below is my review of the products:

1.  Say Yes to Cucumbers' Color care Shampoo and conditioner -- it has a mild cucumber scen that I luv, the shampoo lathered pretty well and my hair felt really soft with the conditioner while wet and dry.

2.  Kiss my Face Calming Bath and Shower Gell in Clove and Ylang ylang -- beautiful soothing scent -- excellent aromatherapy while bathing.

3.  Kiss my Face Ultra Moisturizer in Olive and Aloe -- not sticky or greasy at all....felt creamy on my skin - wonderful lotion that I will use for going out at night when I don't need to put a sunscreen.

4.  Aubrey's Natural Roll-On Deodorant -- I had to give up my Lavanila deodorant since it wasn't on the list (sigh) but I am happy with this deodorant -- It felt wet initially but now feels wonderful on my underarm skin.  The scent is flowery and very nice. 

So far, I hit a jackpot with these products -- they are all non irritating and gentle.  Its going to take me a while to overhaul my beauty routine but I am getting there.  So happy that I saw the list -- makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that I am doing what I can to preserve my body. (-;

I fell in love with Argan oil when I tried MoroccanOil's hair mask on my color- treated hair.  It softened my hair beautifully and did not feel greasy at all.  I wrote an entry about this hair mask and my good friend, Candy, told me about Josie Maran's Argan oil-infused cosmetics and make-up.  I was curious about it but I have alot of make-up already so I did not consider purchasing some until I saw a list of cosmetic companies that make safe and non toxic beauty products and saw Josie Maran in that list - thanks to my friend, Hazel, for providing the list.  Went to Sephora tonight and bought the above items:

1.  Argan Cleansing oil -- tried this tonight and luvd it!  It had a sweet citrusy smell - like oranges and lemon - very pleasant scent.  It felt thick on the skin initially but after washing it off, my face felt really smooth.
2.  Argan tinted moisturizer with SPF 30 in Desert -- my skin was dewy and ultra soft after applying this.
3.  Argan Color stick in Petal Pink -- luvd this too!  The color is so pretty and glided on smooth on my cheeks
4.  Instant Natural Volume Argan Mascara -- can't wait to try this tomorrow...
5.  Argan pressed powder -- will try this tomorrow...
6.  Bear Naked Wipes - totally removed all traces of make - up on my face but still left my face extra smooth

The products are moderately priced - definitely not as expensive as Chantecaille.  I really like Josie Maran's cosmetics and make-up since it is good for my skin!